Winter’s storm rattled the cafe doors, inhibiting Myriam’s deft attempts into the familiar. Illuminated in warmth, her senses thawed with the gentle remembrance of times she’s since discarded. An aroma of Coffee, draping greeneries she planted seasons ago, browning and flaking with age. She was everywhere, yet every step merely echoed a shadow of her former self.
Myriam’s back prickles in perspiration, muddling through a myriad of customers, shifting between them ghostly. She didn’t dare look away from her signature strewn on the walls. Listening to the indistinct murmurs of chatter over the vibrato of music. She couldn’t see Adam behind the coffee bar. Just the rustle of his hair. It had gotten longer. Squeezing her hand tightly into her chest, Her breath strangled out of existence.
“Myriam, been a while. Regular?”
Adam’s copper eyes stared blankly at her. Gritting out a sly smile while anchoring himself to the counter. He went back to the tablet.
“No, thanks. Maybe mocha? The richest cocoa please.”
Turning around, he went to work. And with a sigh, she thrummed her nails against the granite countertop.
“Didn’t think you’d be he here.”
“The weather. It’s been bad.”
“Ha, living in the arctic must’ve frozen more than your mouth, comin’ out here.”
Peering over his shoulder, tented eyebrows and glowering stare chilled her bones. Maybe she was living in an arctic storm.
“The place is busy. That’s exciting, booming business. Hope you’ve been well? Your hair grew out. It’s nice. Um, I-”
The cup clattered down in front of her. Adam’s fingers barricading the liquid as a prison guard.
“This is a farewell, Myriam. No more back’n forth garbage, much less a trip down memory lane. Anymore, you’re nothing but an emo customer who haunts wherever she may go.”
She couldn’t feel the heat of the liquid grasping at her paper cup, entrancing herself within the swirling coffee.
“Please. Just - I need to talk to you.”
“You’ve waited 6 months to inconvenience me. A lifetime couldn’t be that hard.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“The receipt’s down there. He’s more your speed.”
The employee awkwardly waved his hand to direct her traffic. Adam lingered before her, blanking into an emptiness of a grimy coffee pot. No mention of goodbyes. He shed off his apron as he walked away. The fogginess of Myriam’s muddled brain didn’t stop the slick sweat in her shoes from drowning her legs in cement. But it was her only shot. Breathing with every step. Then she ran. Pushing shoulders, tripping on feet. Stumbling to keep Adams back in sight. Until she could catch him.
“Want your ring back? Then talk.”
Adam’s hands balled in his pockets, rendered silent from a myriad of thoughts swarming his brain. Emotions churning as a double espresso, setting afire his body. He wondered if he could flake as the life dying around him.
“We can handle things here. It’s creating a steamy scene. Go Adam.” Micheal, Elaine, Braxton nodded at him. Myriam waved faintly, smiling at friends she once knew before ascending the stairs, feet behind Adam.
“It feels bare in here. Last time, I felt so full,”
“Lots happened. Life moves on.”
“Your coffee… I’ve missed it.”
“Myriam, I don’t have time to do this dance. If you’re not saying your piece, I’m gone.”
“You’re mad. I-I’m sorry.”
“First, I thought it normal that you were just taking time to respond. Like normal.”
“I couldn’t come back! There was no way. I wasn’t myself.”
“Days turned to weeks, and I grew concerned. ‘What if something happened? Is she OK?’ I knock on you door without so much as a pin drop.”
“I wasn’t speaking to anyone. I had to stay away.”
“Until I start having some doubts. Until I realized I no longer care.”
“I - what I did. I didn’t mean to-”
“No. Just give me the ring. Throw it away and keep walking.”
“I don’t want to let go.”
Squeezing the ring, her fingers swelled white. White and glistening, just like her diamond.
“I- wasn’t, I couldn’t. I wasn’t there for you, and it ate me until I felt nothing. I- wasn’t there. For anything. Anyone. But that’ll-”
“Myriam, have you read any of my messages? Listened to the voice-mails?”
“No, my phone’s been off, I’ve been, well-”
“Yes, you’ve been off. For 6 months, not responding. Where have you been?”
“I was here.”
“That’s bloody fantastic! Did you turn into those ghosts you fantasize about so much?”
“That’s not fair. You know that’s not what it’s like.”
“I don’t know what it’s like. Having a fear so damned crippling, I can just flip the bird at everyone in my life.”
“No. I didn’t do that!”
Myriam’s mind was reeling. With every thought, the light dimmed and the air disappeared. Pivoting on her feet, to cocoon in the safety of her own delusions, doubting everything around her. And yet, his clammy grip spins her around. Forced to face what she’s done, eye to eye, heart to heat, pain to misery.
“You’re not running away. Not this time.”
“I didn’t mean to run away. I slept like the dead. Something was wrong with me. I gave up hope.”
“Myriam. I would’ve given you everything. Fought with you, fought for you!”
“I couldn’t bear to put anyone through my pain anymore!”
“The one time I need you most, you’re not there.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Where were you Myriam!”
“I was in the dark.”
“So was I.”
“I’m here now.”
“You abandoned me.”
“Will you ever forgive me?” Her soft whisper traveling through the air.
“Then what? Wait for the next time? How much will I need to accept? How must trust are you expecting me to give?”
“I wanted to contact you. Wanted to see you.”
“A phone call away, a stroll around the block. I don’t believe you.”
“I… I was terrified. I was ashamed. I never show that side of myself, never thought I could.”
“I never thought I’d be so close to someone until I met you.”
“I would paint your face. The memory of you kept me sane.”
“I never experienced a love so paralyzing”
“That’s when I knew you were my everything.”
“Why did you shut me out?”
“I can’t stand myself.”
“Most people can’t.”
In that minute of silence, her legs were tingling. Adam didn’t dare look at her, just beyond. Staring at yet another landscape, Myriam carved. Vibrant hues of gold, pink, and blue. She was art’s shadow. The ring fell to the floor as she grasped for his hand, settled into the cracks of the floorboards. In the dead of winter, two hands warmed up an ache neither person understood.“The Between” now available.